une paix intérieure

2. A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

hunnymarie — Sun, 05 Jun 2011 02:21:27 +0000

2.) A picture of the person you’ve been closest to the longest.

My best friend Jill and me on her wedding night, May 7, 2011. We’ve been best friends since our sophomore year of highschool.
Over the past 8 years, she has become my sister & for her I would bleed myself dry.

More than just a memory.

hunnymarie — Sun, 05 Jun 2011 02:02:41 +0000

It’s crazy when you go back and read old blogs, letters, emails, text messages– even old Facebook statuses and Tweets. I absolutely love doing that. I’m such an addict when it comes to taking walks down memory lane. This can sometimes prove to be dangerous territory for me to enter, for memories fill my mind and cause tears to fall and old aches to come back. Yet, I can never help it–I’m always drawn down that road. I can literally sit for hours reading things of my yesterdays, feeding off the memories. It amazes me to see how much I’ve changed, grown, developed into someone completely different, then to turn around and see how much of me is still the same. Simply amazing. I’m what you can call a hoader when it comes to saving memories. I get lost in old notebooks, articles and letters written to me, and by me. The things that were important to me, the things that mattered most “back when” seems so trivial today, yet they have made me who I am, scars, tears, joy, strength & all. I often think about the past, and yearn for those long forgotten seasons of life, and if I had the chance to go back, I would. I can happily look back on my life and say I have no regrets. I’m a mere 22 years old and I feel I have experienced things in this life that most cannot say they have at the end of theirs. I wouldn’t trade my life lessons learned for the world, even if the most important ones have caused pain so unbearable I would cry out to God to take me home. These memories I hold onto so hard have shaped me into who I am. I love being reminded of things that seem lifetimes away. I’ve moved too many times to count on my fingers, seen enough places to satisy one’s traveling desires and have loved hard enough to last me a lifetime. Though walking down memory lane, may take me to tears, it’s a part of who I am, who I always will be. It reminds me of the strength that lies within me, and the love of others who have poured into me. And though sometimes the pain may be excrutiating, I will continue to take walks down this lovely road, for I will never forget where I have come from.

While I take inspiration from the past, like most Americans, I live for the future.
Ronald Reagan

1. A picture of yourself with 20 facts.

hunnymarie — Mon, 30 May 2011 07:04:41 +0000

1.] I love burning incense. It’s addictive and calming; & aromatherapies.
2.] Southpaw writer.
3.] I recently graduated from LouisianaTechUniversity with a double major — Journalism & Spanish. I LOVE TO WRITE. It’s a deep passion.
4.] PH[O]T[O]GRAPHY is one of my love languages. <3
5.] Jesus is my everything & I will live the rest of my life following Him.
6.] I'm a history junkie. Im completely fascinated by pop culture history and world history. I live so far in the passst.
7.] Before I die I'd like to study abroad in France, live a year in Nepal, teach in Honduras and do missions in Africa.
8.] I am literally obsessed with other cultures. NEPAL, INDIA, JAPAN & FRANCE are my favorites. — besides my very own two, Honduras and Mexico. I'm cool like that. ((;
9.] I love vintage anything.
10.] I love old hollywood films; marilyn monroe, audrey hepburn, doris day, frank sinatra, fred astaire, james dean,black and white films; 80s horror films.
11.] Fashion only interests me when it comes to old vintage styles. I don't really have a "style."
12.] I love love love thrifting.
13.] I want to meet the Apostle Paul. He's the epitamy of [[TRULY , PASSIONATLY AND MADLY IN LOVE WITH CHRIST]].
14.] I'd love to write for a magazine one day BUT even more than that, I want my writing to touch people, to motivate people & to help people.
15.] I'm so ridiculously close to my family!
16.] I'm from Louisiana & very proud of it. (: I currently live in Oklahoma, i decided to move here AND packed my life in 5 days — one of my best decisions ever.
17.] I intern at one of the greatest churches ever, with the greatest people ever under the greatest staff ever — Church of The Harvest. (:
18.] I want to be a non-fiction book author/photographer.
19.] I'm the second of four. & have the stinking CUTEST niece ever!
20.] I go by my first and middle name — it drives me utterly insane to just be called by my first name. Tina Marie.

REST IN PEACE XAY-XAY.
I'll love you forever-until we meet again in Heaven, I'll stay writing, just stay reading.
Xavier Lamar Hewitt
01.25.88-04.28.09
-30- forever.
I love you more than all the words in all the articles in all the world.

30 DAY PHOTO CHALLENGE

hunnymarie — Mon, 30 May 2011 06:19:42 +0000

For every picture post I do, I plan on writing an actual post. I’m hoping this will push me to write so much more.

1. A picture of yourself with 20 facts
2. A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
3. A picture of the cast from your favorite show
4. A picture of your favorite night
5. A picture of your favorite memory
6. A picture of a person you’d love to trade places with for a day
7. A picture of your most treasured item
8. A picture that makes you laugh
9. A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
10. A picture of the person you do the most messing up things with
11. A picture of something you hate
12. A picture of something you love
13. A picture of your favorite band or artist
14. A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
15. A picture of something you want to do before you die
16. A picture of someone who inspires you
17. A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
18. A picture of your biggest insecurity
19. A picture and a letter
20. A picture of somewhere you’d love to travel
21. A picture of something you wish you could forget
22. A picture of something you wish you were better at
23. A picture of your favorite book
24. A picture of something you wish you could change
25. A picture of your favorite day
26. A picture of something that means a lot to you
27. A picture of yourself and a family member
28. A picture of something you’re afraid of
29. A picture that can always make you smile
30. A picture of someone you miss

I’ll be wearing white when I come into Your Kingdom.

hunnymarie — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 05:12:30 +0000

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
oh oh oh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She’ll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain’t always what you think it ought to be, no
ain’t even grey, but she buries her baby

It intrigues me how much the written word can impact someone. This song is so powerful in my life, when it plays the whole world goes silent and it’s just me and the sweet melody of the song drifting off into another world. The story behind this song is quite fascinating. The song alludes to Lord Tennyson’s poem “The Lady of Shalott” (based off a legend from the days of King Arthur, Elaine of Astolat) If you watch the music video, his poems are often displayed in scenes. Tennyson’s “The Lady of Shalott” is a poem about a young woman living in a mysterious tower, who is cursed with death if she dare leaves. The Lady of Shalott, fed up with being trapped in the tower, takes a boat and floats down a river toward Camelot. She dies while singing before she even arrives to shore. She is found with the boat near Camelot, and Sir Lancelot and all the people marvel at her beauty.

AH, I don’t know why I’m so DRAWN, like a bug to a light, to this song. I can literally start this song early in the morning and listen to it til the sun goes down and the moon starts to shine, without a second thought.
Death is an all too familiar taste in my mouth & maybe that’s why when death is involved, things just “make sense” to me in a way that’s not really understandable. We’re just too well acquainted with each other and aren’t you always drawn to what you know?

Jesus, the celebrity.

hunnymarie — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 21:45:58 +0000

So, I was literally laying in my bed, my eyes shut, about to take an awesome nap and I had this sudden urge to blog. I tried my hardest to convince my mind that my body was way too tired, please another time. Before I knew it I was getting my keys and headed towards my car. But I know why.
Ever since I texted a friend about my blog last night, I can’t stop thinking about Xavier, since posts about him consume this blog. I turn on the radio, and songs I cried myself to sleep to those dark months are playing. Coincidence? NO, defintely not.
When I go back to those blogs and read how broken and zombie-like I was, I can only thank God over and over for the people He placed in my life to hold me and hug me and encourage me. GOD IS SO FAITHFUL! I cannot say it enough!! This particular time in my life was completely depressing. I hated how I felt and I just wanted to literally die to stop the pain. I slept to ease the pain, but sleeping never progressed the healing process, so I was just putting my life on hold everytime I shut my eyes. I didn’t care though. I didn’t fit in with the world during this time. I felt so out of place. Everything made me cry. We could be in the middle of a conversation and tears would start flooding down my face. I couldnt help it. I couldnt control my emotions.
I began to accept that my heart would forever have that knife-like feeling burning deeper and deeper as I was forced to face each day, alone in my head. BUT HOW FAITHFUL AND CARING AND LOVING IS GOD!? He pulled me up and out of that ick by sending me loads and loads of encouragement and love from those around me. I grasped onto Him, with all I had, constantly drowning my ears with praise and worship music. It was such a battle! One side of my mind would be running straight into God’s arms, while the other side would be yelling at Him for not saving Xavier. When I think of God’s mercy and grace and everything I have been through in my life, I can easily just start spitting out times in my life where He has showed up. Xavier’s death, in particular is the one I always go back to, because I know if there were no God, I would not be standing here today. So here’s my point…finally. (:
Today Pastor David Gadberry (amazing man of God, check out his blog, www.gadberry.wordpress.com) preached and He said : If God NEVER does another thing for me in my life, I will still worship Him, I will still praise Him! He is so good! Instantly my mind stopped in its tracks and started spinning all at the same time. I thought to myself, can I say the same thing?

Of course I can! You know what thought immediately popped into my head — my sick obsession with Michael Jackson (yes, it’s true, I’m in love!) I love that man as if he gave birth to me! Seriously! How crazy is my love for him and he has done NOTHING FOR ME!? Think about all these celebrities that we place on high pedestals and practically “worship,” and yet they’ve done NOTHING for us, but produce some mind-eating, generation-killing music! Seriously guys! Look around you! Look at the colors he painted the sky with, the sunrise, the sunset, the night sky– how beautiful He crafted all of it for YOUR enjoyment. Think of the grass and trees, the waters and the mountains and the plains and EVERYTHING! He did not have to make things so beautiful for us! Take a breath! How does your nose feel as it inhales that crisp fresh smell of fall? What do your eyes think of all the pretty oranges, reds and yellows all around you?
Think about it! THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE GAVE HIS ONE AND ONLY SON FOR US, SO THAT WE COULD BE WITH HIM, BECAUSE HE CANNOT STAND TO BE APART FROM US!!
Do you know what that does to me! It makes my heart jump uncontrollably!! How awesome that THE GREAT I AM, loves me that freaking much! So why aren’t we loving Jesus with ALL we have? Whe aren’t we declaring Him Lord over our life? These little things I mentioned don’t even amount to what He wants to do for you!! GAAAAAH, HE IS SOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOD!! I don’t know else how to put it!!

Oklahoma.

hunnymarie — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 03:00:47 +0000

It has been so long since I’ve written but I really need to get back into the habit of writing–I graduated in May and haven’t written a thing since. So I am FORCING myself to write sitting in the lobby of Harvest, grasping onto this little time I have to write
So, of course the journalist in me always screams to be let out, even in the most awkward times. Although my college journalism professor would say you’re a journalist at all times– I’m pretty sure there are times when you should just keep your mouth shut. My journalism soul knows no boundaries. Saying that, I’ve been to the OKC Bombing Memorial twice in the past two weeks and have been drawn to just drive by numerous times, just to catch a glimpse. I’m almost through with “One of Our Own: Timothy McVeigh and the Oklahoma City Bombing” WOW. It has been so eye-opening. I’ve even gone to my senior pastor, realizing Harvest was around during the bombing and went into intense journalism mode. “Pastor, did you experience an increase in church attendance the following Sunday?” “Was anyone from the church personally affected by the bombing?” “What exactly was it like witnessing that here in OKC?” And then of course, from each answer, I had another question. All I needed was a notebook and pen, two more sources and I could’ve given you a whole article. I’m so intrigued by learning more and more about these types of things.
You know, I’ve realized, I’m the one who sympathizes with the “victim.” By victim, I mean he who has committed the heinous act against mankind. I sympathize with him and his parents. Always. Remember Columbine? Remember In Cold Blood? I wanted so bad to reach out to Dylan and Eric, & Perry Smith. What is wrong with me? Is it normal to have so much compassion toward someone capable of killing innocent people…babies in the McVeigh case? I sound horrid. Don’t get me wrong, my heart breaks and my tears fall as I read the names and stories of those whose lives were taken from them. My mind constantly goes back to their pictures and my thoughts are forever consumed by their memories. Yet, it’s the parents of the “evil-doers” who I want to reach out to. The ones America turns to when they have no one else to blame.

Dear Nicholas Sparks,

hunnymarie — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 06:06:50 +0000

I have read every book you’ve written—others more than once—even more than twice. Your writing is absolutely amazing and you’re everything I want to be as a writer. Thanks for entertaining me with your captivating stories and exemplifying true examples of endless love through all these years. You leave me speechless. That’s all.

World’s Worst Student.

hunnymarie — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 05:35:47 +0000

Let me just list the things I have to do this weekend (and keep in mind this is a lot shorter than my usual finals week schedule) :
–edit and re-write Spanish 380 Paper 1 (check)
–finish Spanish 380 Paper 2
–do take home Spanish 380 Final (3 essays)
–do Spanish 380 end of the quarter project. (half check)

I’m going to take a wild guess and say it’s Spanish 380′s fault that my face is breaking out. (stress acne, gross.)
So why am I blogging? BECAUSE, I can’t stinkin focus, ok? I’ve been sitting at this dang computer since three o clock (with a much needed El Jarrito’s break with Casey and Ardala) and have barely done anything. I can’t think straight. There’s so much going on in my life and I’m one of those unfortunate people who can’t focus on one thing when a bagillion are going on in my life. I keep thinking about what my friend Bishal said to me a few weeks ago, “Concentrate Tina, we have to graduate in May.” Ahhhh, so true.
Anyway, I just wanted to vent. (: I have to get back to not focusing on this Spanish 380 CUH-RAP.

Oh yes, one more thing to add to my checklist.

–study Sunday School lesson to teach 6 and 7 yr olds Sunday.

It’s time?

hunnymarie — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 01:38:30 +0000

I have held onto you with all my might and everything within me. There are little things I have done to keep you by my side all the time.
On my desktop, there is a collage of pictures plastered with your beautiful face. The mere thought of removing you pains my heart to the point of fear. I can’t let you go. You’ve become a strong part of me. That scares me, because my life has been changed forever, and although I always understood that, it never truly hit me how severely it has been until now.